Thursday, June 17, 2004

Shorts:


1. Ack!!! Today is even hotter. My skin is slipping off. By the time I finished blowdrying my hair this morning, I needed another shower. And yet, soppingly disgusting as it is outside, I am sitting here in my office with my space heater on. I know it's wrong. I know that. But the temperature range within which I am comfortable is so wee. It requires constant maintenance. 2. So this weekend is Portland Pride and I will be attending the Pier Dance on Saturday night. Hopefully there will be more photographic opportunities. I'm going to wear my pink "boob shirt" for maximum exposure. There is nothing like being complimented by a bunch of gorgeous men who have no ulterior motives. Very good for the ego. The trip is also a flimsy excuse to visit my Mamacita who is always amenable to a little Daughtercita time. 3. This is a picture of a Softhead. There are no two alike. My household has three. They can be purchased at Ferdinand on Congress Street in Portland, Maine. 4. There is a guy who works at the Trader Joe's in my neighborhood who has eyes like Rutger Hauer. He would be cute except for the creepy, ice-white eyes and the fact that he can't seem to dress himself in anything other than jeans and a dirty sweatshirt. He makes (ice-white) eyes at me when I shop there. Here's the thing he's a FAKE SHOPPER. He's like an undercover spy, walking around with a basket, never checking out, just walking around waiting for someone to try to steal something. And he thinks we don't know! WE KNOW YOU WORK THERE, CREEPY-EYE MAN. I am tempted to stick a bunch of grapes down my pants just so he'll catch me and then I can OUT him. 5. On the Bill O'Reilly show two nights ago (yes, sometimes I watch for a few seconds - it's sort of like running out into traffic for quick adrenaline rush) The Blotch (Mr. O'Reilly) was interviewing The Newt (Gingrich) and The Newt said, in all seriousness and with The Blotch nodding vigorously in agreement, that the only reason Michael Moore's new movie won the Palm D'or at Cannes was that the festival takes places in France (oh, really, Newt?) and the French are anti-American, and "Fahrenheit 9/11" was the most anti-American movie that debuted there. Those pesky French! Yay for the "No-Spin Zone!" 6. As mentioned in comments, The Prince of Darkness has, by general consensus, been stripped of his title and will now be referred to as The Reaper. Dubya has also been stripped of this title and will now be referred to as The Chimp (which is still better than he deserves).

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