Thursday, July 01, 2004

Bouncing Around Down Under...The Covers...I Wish.

Sorry I don't have time to respond to comments at the moment - this is just a quick post to say that I'm having a great time and to get my crack fix. First thing's first: I have heard through the grapevine that a certain blogger (Todd Vodka) has been saying that I'm lying about the time of day that the picture in my last post was taken and he just knows it's true because he can "clearly" see sunlight streaming through a window onto my face. Mr. Vodka has apparently never heard of electricity (although how one blogs without a socket remains to be determined). It's my bathroom light, freak show. Why would I lie about something so stupid? Ok, on to more important things. I am going to post my travel journal here but not all at once because that would be too long and no one would read it. It's ok, I wouldn't read it either. So here is Day 1. Flight day. Above L.A. at night. Strings of fluttering lights - grids - endless. Çell phone cacophany upon hitting the runway. Sitting up, looking around, everyone within my field of view is on the phone. Everyone is talking, no one is talking to each other. And not about immediate, practical things. More like: "My mom makes me insane..." "So, he put it on a payment plan?" "Well, we've been going out for like six months now..." "Life is R-rated." "My daughter's allergic to nuts." It is 800 degrees in here and we have been sitting on the runway for an hour waiting for a gate. My soul is filled with grouchiness and sour milk. Oh happy day! Not only is flight to Sydney 2.5 hours late, but it seems that the flight will be populated by 5 or 6 high school sports teams and myself. Gee, I hope they talk to me. I'll have to figure out which ones are the popular kids and try to "get in" with them. Maybe one of them will let me wear his varsity jacket. There is a circle of boys in red jerseys doing jumping jacks and chanting. It is deafening. It is also 3:30 in the morning for me. I feel like my skull is splitting in a jagged fissure over my left eye. A group of the red boys (they have now broken formation) is clustered together, looking at me. I just heard, "Maybe you should ask her." I'm all a-quiver. Maybe one of them wants to be my boyfriend! Oh good, now hot lava is pouring out of fissure in head. Teeth are fuzzy. Need shower. Need sports team death-ray. Oh, sweet sweet valium. How I love thee. Ye have quelled my hatred of all things sports- and teenager-related. Time to get on the plane. Ok that's it for now - I'll be back in a few days. Hope you're all well. Ciao sweet thangs.!