Friday, September 10, 2004

How to Win Friends and Influence People. Not.

I took this picture of a sunflower when I was in Maine over Labor Day weekend. I've been neglecting my tree house in Slothville lately and I apologize. As my vacation approaches, as my apartment stagnates, as the first year students descend upon me, as my classes begin, as my ex-boyfriend shows up at my door 40 pounds lighter, I find myself frozen in place. Everything is happening at the same moment and instead of rolling with it, I'm standing ankle deep in the dirt while it all crashes into me. Does anyone remember that episode of Married With Children when Kelly Bundy was going on a game show and for every new thing that she learned she had to forget something else? That's what I feel like now. It seems like my mind is full of holes. My life is full of holes. Everything is just caught up in this huge avalanche of people and places and things that need me to pay attention to them RIGHT NOW but I can't keep it all straight and I am always forgetting what I'm supposed to be doing. So this blog entry is short and random because it's all I'm capable of at the moment. Before I go I'd like to mention that I've decided to stop apologizing for thinking that people who believe in God are crazy. I know there are a lot more of you than there are of me, but I'm done tiptoeing around with my atheism all tied up in knots and tucked away. You know what? The notion of a dude who was born from a virgin, then died, then came back to life and can now be eaten in a cracker is insane. The notion of an almighty being giving a shit whether you can afford a boat or not just because you prayed about it is insane. The notion that God reached down and personally snatched you from the jaws of a disaster, natural or otherwise, while all those other people got killed is insane. The notion that God, the supreme creator, took a personal interest in your little life and made you win that gold medal or that basketball game or that Powerball is insane. Just because 90% of you believe it, doesn't make it not crazy!! If you think that's disrespectful try being a fourth grader who refuses on principle to say the Pledge of Allegiance. Yeah, that was me. I've known what it's like to be disrespected for my beliefs for a long, long time. So forget it. I'm done being touchy feely nicenice around religion. That's my rant for the day. There will doubtless be some sort of shitstorm but who the hell cares. And on a final note, a few days ago the Dastard was helping me pick out a bottle of wine at Trader Joe's. He grabbed a Chianti and said, "This one looks good. It's Sicilian. You have to like it or it will kill you."