Friday, November 12, 2004

You want details?

You got 'em. But first, my mom just called me and scolded me for being a crazy person. She was like, "You're so tiny, what is the matter with you? There are people out there with real issues about weight and you're just a pipsqueak who doesn't know she's a pipsqueak! Cut it out!" Lest you get the wrong impression, she was laughing while she was scolding me. Sorry Mom - I hope that it doesn't come across as rude to complain about body issues. I mean, you've seen my pictures and you all know what I look like. Sometimes I look at a picture of myself and I think, who is that skinny person? I think I really just have some kind of dismorphia - is that even a word? Ok, so, remember back when I broke up with Mike-Lite? Well.......he respectfully declined to be broken up with at that time. Moving forward he shall be known as The Salty Dog (Salty for short) because he's got a lot of salt in his pepper and he's seven years older than me. He knows I have a blog but I won't tell him the URL. Let's hope he doesn't find us, eh? So.......Jamie, Bunsen, you were right. After going out with Salty even just one more time I couldn't believe I had tried to break up with him. What was I thinking??? Thank god he talked me out of it because that would have been a huge mistake. And of course because I'm a jaded sloth, my tendency is to always be waiting for the other shoe to drop but this time I have decided to cut that shit out and just let myself be happy. I'm not going to approach this relationship with a wall around me for fear of getting hurt. I'm going to just throw caution to the wind and if it comes back to bite me, so be it. In the meantime there is all that new-relationship kind of quivering going on. Oh, it's so nice.... Oh, and he cooked me breakfast. Beat that! And if those weren't the kind of details you were looking for, too bad. Shame on you, you know me better than that! Let's just say that I've been mooning around, smiling at strangers and leaving huge tips for cashiers ever since Wednesday night.