Thursday, December 09, 2004

Whirlwind Sloth

Raise your hand if this has ever happened to you: clothing crisis. I woke up fat this morning. It was completely perturbing. The outfit I had picked out last night no longer fit. I was bulging out of everything. It went like this: "Hmm. Well, let's try pantz A with shirt A." *rustle rustle zip* "Hmm. How about pantz A with shirt B." *zip rustle rustle* "Ugh. Ok, shirt B with pantz C." *rustle wrassle zip* "Goddamn it. Pantz C with shirt D." *zip wrassle wrassle stomp* "Fuck it, I'm staying home." I didn't stay home, but I was half an hour late for work and my room looks like a bomb went off in my closet.