Monday, January 31, 2005

Remember Felix? My lazy, crotchety, 17-year-old cat? This is a picture of him half asleep and it's pretty much representative of how I felt for much of the weekend. I don't know if this is normal, but Vicodin gets me totally blissed out. Who knew I could be even more slothful than I am in my natural state? I love it. I wish I could go home and pop some right now. Alas, I must be a productive member of society and earn a living and not be a deadbeat. No fun! The parentals visited this weekend and we had a great time. Excellent dinner at Washington Square Tavern and then to the Sanders Theatre for Paquito D'Rivera. On Sunday we made popovers, scrambled eggs, mimosas and watched the Australian Open which Lleyton Hewitt lost, much to our enjoyment. They met the boy, even though I'm not sure we're legitimately at the meet-the-parents stage and, thanks to a flurry of activity immediately prior to their arrival, my apartment is sparkly-clean. Squeaky, even! There are lots of big things happening in the world. As a democrat who loathes our president with an unprecedented animosity I am reluctant to admit this, but admit it I must. If I lived in Iraq, I don't think I would vote. I think I would be a scaredy-cat and stay home and hide until the election was over. But seeing how brave all these people are, and seeing the women smiling and dropping their ballots in the boxes is pretty damned inspiring. Talk about courage! It doesn't change my mind about our president or about what I consider to be his poor decision-making skills and appalling ignorance, but I'm glad that the carnage during the voting period has been kept to a minimum and I'm glad that people chose to be strong and exercise their new rights. It's about time something hopeful happened over there. I'm also very excited about this new development. Gentlemen, if given the option of never accidentally getting a woman pregnant again, would you consider sedating your soldiers? Would you consider taking the responsibility of birth control, so long the burden of the woman, into your own hands? I hope you would. It's only fair, eh?


Thursday, January 27, 2005

Broken Sloth with Random News

Hi peeps. I've been laid up for a couple of days with an ouchy back that has no business giving this kind of trouble to a young, limber sloth such as myself. In any case, I have to have an MRI and physical therapy. Until then, my new best friend is Vicodin. Vicodin, meet the peeps. Peeps, this is Vicodin. I'm sure we're all going to get along famously. I'm not sure what happened to me to bring this all on, but after 2 1/2 weeks of wearing this *not* fashionable pain belt, I realized that I might have to wear it forever if I didn't go to the doctor. Ok, letseeee......I have a few things to say. First of all, Lleyton Hewitt fans are idiots. No, I don't mean YOU. I mean those assholes who dress up in the yellow t-shirts and hoot and holler in the stands during the match. This is tennis, people. Pipe the fuck down. And if you absolutely must act like such a dumbass, at least don't do it while his OPPONENT is serving. That is so unbelievably rude. And why the hell do you like Hewitt, anyway? He such a puffed-up, ego-wielding jock. Bad sportsmanship all around. On a less bitchy note, here are my top ten current musical favorites: (this excludes permanent favorites like John Hiatt who will always be #1 on my list) 1. Calexico 2. The Arcade Fire 3. The Black Keys 4. David Mead 5. Snow Patrol 6. Devendra Banhart 7. Interpol 8. Gomez 9. The Faint 10. Um......can't think of a 10th *current* one. As for Monday's exam, I picked it up by the neck and shook it until it was dead. Amazing how I can feel totally unmotivated and burnt out on school but I'm too OCD to actually let my grades slip no matter what. And finally for today, remember kids, God is just pretend. (Oh, I'm such a troublemaker!) :P


Monday, January 24, 2005

Harvard Sucks Ass

I just got to the school and they told me it's closed. Maybe it's just me, but I can't help but think that PERHAPS adding the university's name to the CLOSED listings on TELEVISION or the INTERNET might, JUST MIGHT be a GOOD FUCKING IDEA. There are a ton of us here right now who didn't know we were closed. For those of you who live elsewhere and may not be aware of why Harvard would be closed, the snow in the courtyard of my apartment building is waist-high. There are no sidewalks in my neighborhood. The store fronts are invisible. I'm just worried about where I can pick up a bottle of wine in this mess. I have an exam tonight. It is not rescheduled. Oh no. That would be too easy. Instead, I will now go home and sit around my apartment watching movies, not studying, until 6:30 when I will have to leave to come back here to take my stupid fucking exam that I just wish was OVER ALREADY. I had all weekend to study. Instead I made popovers, a huge batch of marinated red onions, spicy peanut noodles, and black bean enchiladas. I also watched "Napolean Dynamite" (awesome) and "Hero" (sick of the flying Kung Fu, but visually rewarding). Oh, and "Harry Potter" again, which honestly is waaaay better on the big screen. Ok, have an excellent Monday, everyone. I'm off to reverse commute. Ciao!


Wednesday, January 19, 2005

The Art of Distraction

As many of you are aware, I am a celebrity fashion whore. I love to talk about politics and religion and feminist theory, but when times get tough I always fall back into the loving arms of judging-people-I-don't-know-for-wearing-clothes-they-didn't-pick-out-for-themselves. Yeah, baby! Click here for some much-needed celebrity fashion disasters. And can anyone out there tell me why people think Lindsay Lohan is hot? She's bright orange. She has a mullet. She had the needy psycho rage over Aaron Carter. Aaron Carter. This little slip of a boy who is indistinguishable from the wallpaper he's standing in front of. Ok, I have some catching up to do about this whole Kansas City thing. I'm looking for pictures, people. Where are they? I promise not to make fun of your clothes.


Tuesday, January 18, 2005

I am in NO mood.

Due to an irritating series of events, this sloth has grown poisonous spines. And I can spit acid. I told Dastard to stay far far away from me today in case I accidentally annihilate him with my wrath, but he insisted on bringing me lunch. This is why he is my best friend. Someone in my life has an addiction. This addiction affects me a great deal. Over the years my tolerance threshold has grown thinner and thinner and thinner. At this moment I am on a knife edge and ready to bring the carnage. On this particular day, every single one of you is lucky that you don't know me in real life. I really must learn how to focus my ire, instead of mowing down everything in my path.


Tuesday, January 11, 2005

Journal Entry: Dec. 26, '04

This is one of my journal entries from the break which contains censored content. Well, doesn't actually contain it anymore if you want to get all technical. God, you're so technical!! Pffftt! My journal writing is completely different from my usual Slothville chatter. Some of you will find it a little pretentious. I won't care. Have a good day everybody! Christmas '04 Boxing Day, actually. I'm staying in the guest apartment. [censored] It's an odd feeling. I never see the parental unit (exaggeration) because I live a few states away, yet I'm down here and they're up there. It makes sense, I suppose. They can't be entertaining me every second of every day. They have things to do. Soup to cook. Shelves to build. Those sorts of things. I have nothing to do (other than read a book for class). I could read my Carl Sagan book. It's called "A Demon-Haunted World" but I keep referring to it as "A Demon-Washed World" by mistake. I do feel, these days, as if our world is awash with gods and ghosts. "Intelligent Design" is being taught in schools. Federally funded researchers must restrict their work to a few hopelessly contaminated stem cell lines. John Kerry was obliged to waggle his faith in the face of the American public to have any hope of winning. Even then his opponent won, at least partly because George W. Bush is a lunatic and a religious zealot. People seem to like that about him. I climb into Sagan's book as into a warm bath. It comforts me and even as I feel validated, my fear is calmed. I look at those who use their myths to justify atrocities, to control social policies and to condemn dissenters as moral inferiors and I see the collective movement of a lethal, vindictive, petulant beast that is a thousand times more powerful than me. The subtitle of this book is "Science as a Candle in the Dark." Indeed. Yes, I'm afraid. I would be a fool not to be. Roe v. Wade dangles over the edge of the cliff face by two fingers. Two votes. And Rehnquist lies in his bed, the frozen grope of death seeping down his throat. In this past election Ohio passed - how many was it? - anti-gay initiatives that not only outlaw gay marriage but strip homosexuals of their civil rights. These measures will almost certainly be challenged in court and perhaps the suit will make it all the way to the top. To the mighty Supreme Court. But who will be sitting there then? Someone comparable to the fox in sheep's clothing who is sure to be our new Attorney General regardless of his jaunty enthusiasm for torture? But it's Boxing Day! I should calm myself. No use pissing away the holiday season worrying about the fucksticks in Washington D.C. Ah, profanity always helps too. It's 5:15. In 45 minutes I can pour myself a glass of wine and smoke an ill-advised cigarette, although the air outside is unforgivably raw. Certainly tests one's commitment to one's vice. I called Michael on Christmas day. He was at home watching a Julia Child marathon. I haven't made up my mind about him yet. He infuriates me. If I am to be perfectly honest, he intimidates me. If he didn't, we may not have made it this far. I am torn between wanting to crush his face with my knee and wanting to have sex with him all the time. He's a pot-stirrer and possibly something of a bastard, although that remains to be determined. Nothing like Duffy with his earnest attempts to keep up with my rabid political ranting. Nothing like Duffy who was no doubt mystified to find himself dating a feminist. Nothing like Duffy who, all else aside, I trusted with my whole soul to always do right by me. He would laugh if I told him that. But I left you for a car, he would say. He's a good man. He never knew that I could have kept him here if I had wanted to keep him at all. That he could never be enough for me. And I'll never tell. [censored] But it's boxing day! It's silly to kvetch about all this. In three days I fly to Baltimore for pork and sauerkraut in the best Pennsylvania Dutch tradition and much-needed face time with uncle Barry. I will miss my dad. He's leaving Maryland the day I arrive. [censored] A glass of wine.......5:47. Close enough.


Monday, January 10, 2005


Hello. I'm sure many of you have gone by now. I feel a little weird doing this, but....... I think I might come back. I really miss Slothville, more than I thought I would, but things can't stay the same. The rules are going to change here, I just have to figure out how. I don't think I'll post as often. I can't spend all day visiting everyone. I may disable comments, but don't count on it. I will still censor. I have to. But the censored material will appear on another blog that, no, you can't read. That one's just for me. No more living and breathing Slothville. It has to be more casual, less stressful. The total banishment made me feel like a quitter, though, and that's a kind of stress too. This really is a good way for family and friends to keep up with me and I shouldn't begrudge anyone the right to read here. That's just selfish and there's no reason for it. I think since I started Slothville I've gotten confused about what it's for. Is it a day-to-day activity thing? Is it a confessional? Is it a political tool? What do I want to do here? I'll suss it out. All I know is that as the proprietor of this establishment, I don't feel right letting it go to seed. Time to break out the mop and broom and get these cobwebs down.