Thursday, April 21, 2005

Can I buy a vowel? Or a degree?

Ok, so raise your hand if you do this: “Oh, my paper isn’t due for three weeks – that’s plenty of time! It’s an eternity! I’ll be all geriatric an’ shit – I’ll have a titanium hip before that frickin’ paper is due!” ***** “Hmm. Paper is due in one week. Should definitely start working on it tomorrow. At least figure out what it’s supposed to be about.” ***** *Sigh* “Paper is due in three days. Where did I put the handout? Hmmm. Seems I need a book I don’t have. Well, have all day Saturday, Sunday and Monday night. No problem!” ***** ~ring ring~ “Hello? Hi, what do you want? WHO died? Ohhhh, I’m sorry to hear that. Really sorry to hear that. Hey, you know what? I don’t really have time to talk right now. I have a gigantic paper due in two days and I don’t have time for chitchat. No chitchat! Sorry.” “…….Hmm… I wonder if there are any Law & Order reruns on…” “…….I think I’ll make some soup. Man, do I love soup. Haven’t made it in ages.” ***** ~ring ring~ “Hello? Hi. Why are you calling me? You know I have a paper due in a day, I don’t have time for chitchat!! Come ON!!” “…..Ooh, ‘Road Rules/Real World Challenge’ is on! I LOVE this show!! God, Karamo is so skinny now....and I miss Ruthie......ooh, cat fight!!” “…..Ok, I’m just going to look at eBay for ONE SECOND….” ***** ~ring ring~ “Hello? I can’t BELIEVE you’re calling me – you KNOW I have a paper due in SIX hours! I don’t have time to chitchat!!!!! NO CHITCHAT for fuck’s sake!!!” “…..I’ll just check my email and then I’ll start. Ooh! A message from the online shoe store! And they’re having a sale!! Well, I’ll just look for ONE SECOND.” ***** “Gah!! Ack!! Gah!!! An hour and a half!! Jesus Christ, I’m such an ASSHOLE!!” type type type type type type type type…… Yeah, you’ve all done it and you all know it. I finished my paper 15 minutes before my class. Saaaweeeet!!!!