Thursday, August 25, 2005

Complain Much??

First of all, it's Thursday. The worst day of the week (Tuesday, ack!, shudder) is far behind us. One more day and we are FREEEEEEEEEE................for two whole days. I would like to thank the residents of Slothville for what the Retropolitan referred to as the "monster thread" on the last post. Not only was it the first time we have broken 100 comments since my post-election meltdown/hiatus (btw, the comments are still there even though Haloscan says "zero" and I had forgotten how interesting all that discourse was), it was only the second time in the history of Slothville that we got to 200 comments. Everyone give themselves a clap on the back! If you can reach. I'd do it for you but, you know, the claws. Instead of pat-pat it would be more like stab-stab. Today I have a little bitch-slap for Heath Ledger. From "The Scoop" by Jeanette Walls (celebrity gossip pimpette): Heath Ledger says he didn't enjoy smooching Jake Gyllenhaal in the man-on-man romantic cowboy flick, "Brokeback Mountain." IGN FilmForce interviewed Matt Damon and Ledger, stars of "The Brothers Grimm," and Ledger confessed that making "Brokeback Mountain" was "tough. It was a lonely experience, but it was definitely a real sense of accomplishment once I finished. It scared me [bleep]less." What scared him? "You know, the idea I had to make out with Jake Gyllenhaal for one, which just wasn't the easiest thing to do," Ledger replied. "You found making out with me pretty easy though," Damon quipped. "It was dark and I was drunk," Ledger joked. "This was daytime and there was a lot of lights." Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh, poor Heath Ledger. He was forced, due to contractual obligations, to make out with the dreaded Jake Gyllenhaal. Oh, the horror!!! We know, we know. Your job is so hard, Heath. Smooching nubile, puffy-lipped, slightly-feminine-in-just-the-right-way men is so NAUSEATING. Never mind that you made SIXTY BILLION DOLLARS for doing it or that 99% of the known world would collectively fall to their knees to suck that guy's dick FOR FREE. Besides - LOOK AT YOURSELF. Nice tank top, Heath. What's that you've got behind your back there? It's an ass dildo, isn't it? Oh, yes it is. Dude, the only person in Hollywood gayer than you is Gavin Rossdale and if you think that pregnant girlfriend of yours is going to give you a beard, think again. Heath Ledger, you are a whiny little twat. Fuck you and the brokeback horse you rode in on. I am SO not returning any more of your calls.