Friday, September 16, 2005

Booby Bite and Buh-Bye.

This is a picture I took a few weeks ago of Felix's brilliant idea to walk through the back hall while it was being painted. The day before yesterday I was waiting for someone in front of my building, reading Newsweek (Headline: "How Bush Blew It"). The whole street here is basically under construction, so there were construction workers as far as the eye could see, with their orange hard hats and suspenders and dirty t-shirts and all. As I was standing there, innocently perusing, something fell into my bra. I think I wondered for approximately 3 or 4 seconds where it came from and if it could perhaps be alive before it started eating my boob. Boob: "Let me out! Let me out!! Something is biting meeeeeeeee!!!!!" Biter: "Chomp chomp chomp chomp......" Boob: "Get me out of here NOW, bitch!!" So, in a flurry of motion, the Newsweek went flying, and my left breast saw sunlight for the first time........I don't know, ever. And I flashed a street full of construction workers. Good times! The biter, incidentally, was an ant. An ant that seemingly came out of nowhere and upon seeing my cleavage thought a) "That looks like a nice, warm place to hang out" or b) "Look at that!! I gotta bite that shit!!" Either way, I wound up with a bunch of red welts on my boob and the ant wound up very very dead. Ok, people, I'm off to the Outer Banks for two weeks. I promise to tell you all about it upon my return. And remember! These guys are on tour and if you can catch them, I promise it's well worth it. You have no idea. FOUND's Lone Surfer Tour "2005!" Monday, Sept 19, 2005 PORTLAND, ME Space Gallery, 8 pm, 538 Congress Street, 207-541-3842 Tuesday, Sept 20, 2005 BOSTON (Brookline) Coolidge Corner Theatre, 6 pm, 290 Harvard Street, 617-566-6660 Wednesday Sept 21, 2005 MONTAGUE, MA Lady Killigrew, two shows! 7pm & 9 pm, Greenfield Road, 413-367-9666 Thursday Sept 22, 2005 BROOKLYN Galapagos, 8 pm sharp!, 70 n. 6th Street, 718-782-5188 Friday Sept 23, 2005 MANHATTAN Housing Works, 7 pm sharp! 126 Crosby Street, 212-334-3324 Saturday Sept 24, 2005 PHILADELPHIA Fergie's Pub, 2 shows! 8 & 10 pm, 1214 Sansom Street, 215-928-8118 Monday Sept 26, 2005 DURHAM, NC Man Bites Dog Theater, 8:15 pm, 703 Foster Street, 919-682-3343 Tuesday Sept 27, 2005 CHAPEL HILL, NC The Nightlight, 8 pm, 405 w. Rosemary, 919-933-5550 Wednesday Sept 28, 2005 RICHMOND, VA Firehouse Theater, 7:30pm, 1609 w. Broad Street, 804-355-2001 Thursday Sept 29, 2005 CHARLOTTESVILLE, VA Gravity Lounge, 8 pm, 103 s. 1st Street, 434-977-5590 Friday Sept 30, 2005 WASHINGTON, DC Politics & Prose, 7 pm, 5015 Connecticut ave NW, 202-364-1919 Saturday Oct 1, 2005 WASHINGTON, DC Wonderland Ballroom, 9 pm, 1101 Kenyon Street NW, 202-232-5263 Sunday Oct 2, 2005 BALTIMORE Atomic Books, 7 pm, 1100 west 36th Street, 410-662-4444 Monday Oct 3, 2005 PITTSBURGH, PA Future Tenant, 7:30 pm, 801 Liberty Avenue, 412-325-7037 Oct 4, 2005 Buffalo, NY Medaille College, 7 pm, Main bldg., call Jerry at 716-884-3281 x.174 Oct 5, 2005 Toronto, ON The Drake Hotel (underground), 7 pm, 1150 Queen Street est, 416-531-5042 Oct 7, 2005 Detroit, MI 555 Gallery, 8 pm, 4884 Grand River Avenue, 313-894-4202 Oct 8, 2005 Grand Rapids, MI Division Ave. Arts Coop, 8 pm, 115 s. Division Street, 616-774-4842 Oct 9, 2005 Kalamazoo, MI Kraftbrau Brewery, 7 pm, 402 e. Kalamazoo Avenue, 269-384-0288 Oct 12, 2005 Chicago, IL Neo-Futurarium, 8 pm, 5153 n. Ashland, 773-275-5255 Oct 13, 2005 Lagrange, IL Borders, 7:30 pm, 1 s. La Grange road, 708-579-9660 Oct 15, 2005 Madison, WI Orpheum Theater, 10 pm, 216 State Street, 608-255-6005 Oct 16, 2005 Minneapolis, MN Pulaski Auditorium, 7 pm, 2114 5th Street NE, 612-706-7879 Oct 17, 2005 West Lafayette, IN Hicks Library Bookstall, 7 pm, Purdue U, 765-494-4740 Oct 18, 2005 Indianapolis, IN Big Car Gallery, 8 pm,1043 Virginia Avenue, 317-408-1366 Oct 19, 2005 Bloomington, IN Playwrites Project Theater, 7 pm, 314 s. Washington Street, 812-339-8710 Oct 20, 2005 St. Louis, MO Mad Art Gallery, 8 pm, 2727 south 12th Street (Soulard), 314-771-8230 Oct 21, 2005 Columbia, MO Barnes & Noble, 7 pm, 2208 Bernadette Drive, 573-445-4080 Oct 22, 2005 Montana, KS SUPER-SPECIAL EVENT! details tba Oct 23, 2005 Denver, CO Hi-Dive/Sputnik, 9 pm, 7 south Broadway, 720-570-4500 Oct 24, 2005 Salt Lake City, UT SLC Public Library, 7 pm, 210 east 400 south, 801-322-8133 Oct 26, 2005 Seattle, WA University Books, 7:30 pm, 4326 University Way NE, 206-634-3400 Oct 27, 2005 Portland, OR The Wonder Ballroom, 8pm, 128 NE Russell, 503-284-8686 Oct 28, 2005 Eugene, OR Sam Bond's Garage, 9:30 pm, 407 Blair blvd., 541-343-2635 Oct 29, 2005 Sacramento, CA True Love in Exile @ Mother India, details tba Oct 30, 2005 Santa Cruz, CA Bookshop Santa Cruz, 7:30 pm, 1520 Pacific Avenue, 831-423-0900 Nov 1, 2005 Berkeley, CA Cody's Bookstore, 7:30 pm, 2454 Telegraph, 510-845-7852 Nov 2, 2005 San Fran, CA Intersection 4 the Arts, two shows! 7pm & 9pm, 446 Valencia, 415-626-2787 Nov 3, 2005 San Fran, CA A Clean, Well-Lighted Place for Books, 7 pm, 601 Van Ness, 415-441-6670 Nov 4, 2005 LA (Los Feliz) Skylight Books, 7:30 pm, 1818 n Vermont Avenue, 323-660-1175 Nov 5, 2005 Long Beach, CA Koo's Art Center, 8 pm, 530 e. Broadway Blvd., 562-499-6736 Nov 6, 2005 LA (Hollywood) Bang Studio, 7 pm, 457 n. Fairfax Avenue, 323-653-6886 Nov 7, 2005 Phoenix, AZ Modified Arts, 8pm, 407 e. Roosevelt, 602-462-5516 Nov 8, 2005 Albuquerque, NM Guild Cinema, 8pm, 3405 Central Avenue NE, 505-255-1848 Nov 9, 2005 Taos, NM Caffe Tazza, 7 pm, 122 Kit Carson Road, 505-758-8706 Nov 11, 2005 Dallas, TX Lakewood Theater, details tba Nov 12, 2005 Austin, TX Alamo Drafthouse, 9:30pm, 409 Colorado Street, 512-476-1320 Nov 13, 2005 Houston, TX Aurora Picture Show, 8pm, 800 Aurora Street, 713-868-2101 Nov 15, 2005 New Orleans, LA Handsome Willys, 8 pm, 218 s. Robertson Street, 504-525-0377 Nov 16, 2005 Jackson, MS Lemuria Books, 7:30pm, 202 Banner Hall, 4465 I-55 n, 601-366-7619 Nov 17, 2005 Birmingham, AL Rojo, 9 pm, 2921 Highland Avenue s, 205-328-4733 Nov 19, 2005 Ann Arbor, MI Michigan Theater, 8 pm, 603 e. Liberty Street, 734-668-8463 Ciao for now!!

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