Tuesday, December 13, 2005

Momma Sloth

It's a balmy 17 degrees here today. Rejoice! Things I learned about my mother over the weekend: 1. When she was a child of an age when you still believe that what you do can affect what is on television, she used to beg and plead with Dorothy at the end of "The Wizard of Oz" to only click her heels twice or, alternately, to not click them at all because who on earth would want to go back to a black and white life in the dustbowl after living for even a brief time in Technicolor? 2. She has a cowgirl crush on this cowboy: I really can't imagine why... 3. If she were in an airplane and the guy who was about to take her to jail got hit on the head with a metal suitcase and passed out while the plane was crashing, she would SO NOT PUT AN OXYGEN MASK ON HIS STUPID FACE. 4. If you get her drunk enough she will laugh all the way home. Holidays are complex emotional events. After feeling melancholy about the family I no longer have, I spent the weekend with my parents and started feeling jolly about the family I do have. Tuesdays suck less in December.