Tuesday, January 24, 2006

New Weekly Feature?

And now for this week's (first ever) edition of "I Can't Believe It's Not Florida!" Have you ever noticed that most retarded crime happens in Florida? Fark gives Florida it's own category, for god's sake. So it's always disconcerting to hear about dumb, white trash shit going down in other states. Little girl is shot in the head when her grandaddy and some other shmuck get all road-ragey and shooty.......... Only in fuckin' Florida. Naked guy gets beaten to a pulp with a baseball bat and the cops arrest him.............. Only in fuckin' Florida, my friends. Drunk dude falls asleep at the drive-thru and demands five double cheeseburgers and a frosty from the cops? FLORIDA!! But wait. What's this? The genius EMT who decided to play a ha-ha on his coworker with the defribillator and accidentally killed her was in.......... was in............. Virginia? Would it kill the world to have some kind of consistency? What's next, a trailer park tornado in Connecticut?? I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHAT'S HAPPENING.