Thursday, January 12, 2006

Survival Tips

1. If you want to keep your throat and the fleshy areas of your neck, DON'T FUCKING TOUCH ME IN THE MORNING. 2. I am not going to be nice to you in the morning so don't even bother talking to me. See how I am staring at you with an expression of disbelief? See how I turn to my computer and start typing while you are still talking? See these pointy teeth dripping with the blood of the asshole who just gave me a good morning hair-tug? Run, motherfucker! Run!! 3. Treat the sloth like a toxic chemical spill and STAY AWAY. Don't drink the water, don't eat the food, drop everything and leave the area immediately. Failure to do so may result in a disfiguring disease and/or sterility. 4. And if you fucking touch me again, if you are really that stupid, I'm going to eat your children for lunch.