Sunday, February 26, 2006

Shameful Shoe Monday!

Ok, so tomorrow I'll tell you all about how my friends and I almost died in several different ways on the way home from Dan Tobin's 30th birthday party. Good times. But we have business to attend to and attend to it we shall. Here are the shameful shoes you've been waiting a whole long week for. You know what these brave soldiers need... Ok, well, they need to not die. But other than that they need FASHION! That's right - nothing disarms the Viet Cong like a snazzy pair of cammy pumps. Wait, which war are we losing again? WHEN KOOSHES ATTACK! Man, this is a CARAZY epidemic. Just ask these people: Oh, I'm sorry, you can't. They have all been transformed into a slick of viscera coating the pavement. Ohhhh well. Well, it's not like I didn't WARN YOU GUYS!!! Where have I seen these? Where, where, where???? If I could just get into the groove of my memory, if I wasn't so hung up on this brain lock, if I could just remember it would beeee a holidaaaay!! Got it! They were on THIS bitch. (This bitch I totally idolized and wanted to be for exactly 71% of my pre-teen years, natch.) Whaaaaaaaa??????? GodDAMN!! I could have SWORN that dude was a dude!! Must have been all that simpering that threw me off. And finally: You know what would have made this experience a lot more luxuriant? The proper toilet seat. Even inebriated frat-boy assholes deserve a little comfort in times of need. Happy Monday, peeps. Hope your weekend was divine.